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[Rant/Vent, Advice OK]Its getting difficult man (self.raisedbynarcissists)

submitted 12 hours ago by iamhoshiestarRBN

I feel like my mental health is really degrading a lot at this point , idk man its getting really exhausting now . Its to the point that i dont even wanna survive i just feel like giving up man . I can't live here its not healthy for me . I feel like Ive lost my teenage years to my mental health because someone doesn't knows how to be a fucking parent dude. I dont hate them fully i cant but i just wanna leave them and never see their face again . Ive made plans to get out of here and then go NC but i have to do atleast something for that but i can't its like starting when i am already fully exhausted . My grandma had an heart attack today she is alive but i dont feel mad or sad , somehow its my problem somehow its my fault . I dont know what i am saying i wish i could structure it all properly but i can't when i actually wanna say how i feel the words don't come out . I feel like tearing up every second but i can't even cry it will just increase problems for me , if i ask for seeing a therapist it will just increase problems for me . I really just wanna get out of here heal myself and break the cycle i don't want my kids to suffer from what i am going through i want them to be an independent adults stupid me i am not even an legal adult yet Lol . I wish they aborted me when i was a child . I don't even have any trusted adult i could talk to about how i feel ,it all is just eating me up . I just wanna get out here and make a life i truly want but i am too exhausted to work for that , and i cant even die that would be sad i dont wanna die , i want to have a peaceful life and family in future i can't continue to live like this forever

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[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] 12 hours ago stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

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[–]Standard_Web_4161RBN 3 points4 points5 points 13 hours ago (1 child)

Thanks for sharing here, man. I want to say I understand how you feel and exactly what you are going through. You are not alone in this. This community here is proof of that. You're already doing a great job by just existing. You deserve to be happy. Everything in the family is not your fault, at all. Coming from a scapegoat, it sounds like you are the scapegoat of the family. You're actually the strongest one and no one sees it, not even you YET. You have to do your best to be as BORING as possible to the family to protect yourself and start feeling at least a little bit better until you can get out of there. Your environment is toxic. Do your best to stop reacting to everything that gets thrown on your shoulders. Walk away. Go for a walk. Lock yourself in your room if you have to. Don't feel bad about resting. You need to rest. Tell everyone that you feel sick bc you do bc you are in a toxic environment but do not explain any of this to them bc they will just call you crazy. Just remember, be boring to them. You are always welcome to post how you feel here. You're doing a great job and like I said I'm on your side so don't feel alone in this. Stay strong. You got this.

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[–]iamhoshiestarRBN[S] 1 point2 points3 points 12 hours ago (0 children)

Really grateful for this man i just had to take this off my chest last few days it has gotten really overwhelming in past few days . I never realized but all this stuff was also reflecting in other aspects of my life like relations goals etc. But i know i will fix them all will take time but i know i can do it ,You are right i should take rest I don't have to think about stuff all the time its okay to just exist in present not in future doesn't matter how good the future may sound, they won't change i have to toughen up myself . Really grateful for the advices ill make sure they don't get much out of me anymore ,i am a single child so most of their focus is on me but ill try my best that they don't get to me anymore . Really thankful to you man thanks for this XD

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[–]VioletAmethyst3 1 point2 points3 points 12 hours ago (1 child)

OP, I don't know if you are in the US, but if you are, you could look up emancipation laws to see if you could get out early.

Do you have your birth certificate? Your social security card? Are you working or looking for a job? Working a part time job may help keep you out of the house. Hanging out at the library is also a good idea for a safe space, and you can even take naps there. Most people my assume you fell asleep reading.

I am sorry you are going through this, OP. Keep strong, you can get through this. And start looking for options early. It's never too early to plan the get away, so to speak.

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[–]iamhoshiestarRBN[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 hours ago (0 children)

I am not in US that's the issue we don't have any emancipation laws here, about the library i dont have any nearby but i did change my routine as in i sleep at 8am then wake up at 5pm or 6pm then go straight to gym to reduce the time i have to deal with them . I am still not 18 so i can't really find a job here ,i am just waiting to turn 18 so i get my adult documents and then can move on to finding a job or a college somewhere far . I am building different plans and they will work its just i am exhausted to start so i am thinking i should rest for few days so i feel a bit more stable . Also really grateful for the advice and the support i really appreciate it :3

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[–]WhereWeretheAdults 0 points1 point2 points 9 hours ago (0 children)

Look for the links on the right side of this sub. You want Acronyms and Terms. Look up grey-rocking. It's not a fix, just a way to minimize the damage to your mental health while you are stuck with them.

Then go to r/EstrangedAdultKids and find the links on the right side. You want the link that has guidance on how to move out. Read through that and see what you need to do to for your situation.

You are overwhelmed. With the abuse and the uncertainty, that is to be expected. That is what happens when you have something huge you are trying to manage and can't see the entirety of the picture yet. What helps is to break it down. Sit down and break it down. Take the guidance on how to move out and start to formulate a very real, workable plan. Break it down into steps you can achieve. Come up with a plan with as much detail as you need and start working that plan.

When you have a plan with set, achievable steps, you can begin to feel in control of your life a little bit and that will help with being overwhelmed.

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[–]Bosbesjes 0 points1 point2 points 6 hours ago (0 children)

I’d suggest watching Jay Reid on yt. Hold on. Life gets better eventually. Speaking from experience

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