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Radhule B. Weininger M.D., Ph.D.

Heart Medicine for a Changing World

Stress

When the Body Heals: Recovery From Relational Stress

Psychosomatic resolution after the removal of chronic relational stress.

Updated April 4, 2026

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Reviewed by Margaret Foley

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THE BASICS

What Is Stress?

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Key points

Emotional stressors can leave long-lasting effects on the body.

Chronic stress disrupts immunity, increasing autoimmune disease risk.

The ending of relational stress can lead to healing of autoimmune disorders.

Psychotherapy, mindfulness, and therapy groups are important for recovery.

Recently, I came across stories of two young people who experienced serious autoimmune disorders after suffering for years under an abusive, narcissistic parent. A young woman, who had been on crutches and even in a wheelchair for five years, saw her physical disability vanish within weeks after a court removed her abusive father's visitation rights. Similarly, a young man had endured a many years long autoimmune illness that left him disabled. Within three months of his narcissistic father’s death, he recovered. Six months after his father’s passing, he is now employed full-time. These are striking examples, but they are not uncommon. In fact, similar stories exist, well documented in the literature, involving three key research areas: psychoneuroimmunology, the study of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and the growing body of clinical work on narcissistic abuse as a chronic traumatic stressor.

The Body Keeps the Score: Somatic Responses to Relational Threat

The psychiatrist and trauma researcher Bessel van der Kolk explained that unresolved threats, especially interpersonal threats from which escape is impossible, are stored not only in memory or emotions but also in the body itself. In The Body Keeps the Score (2014), he describes how chronic traumatic stress disrupts the autonomic nervous system. This, in turn, causes various physical symptoms such as pain, fatigue, and immune problems. It is both important and surprising that once the source of the threat is gone, the body's regulatory systems can begin to recover, sometimes quite quickly.

This aligns with the classic two-factor model of stress described by Hans Selye. He demonstrated that prolonged activation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, our primary stress response system, causes physiological strain across nearly every organ system. When this activation stops, the system can recover. In the stories mentioned above, the legal ruling and the father's death may each have served as a definitive resolution of an unavoidable threat, enabling this type of recovery.

Psychoneuroimmunology: Stress and the Immune System

Robert Ader and Nicholas Cohen pioneered the field of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) in the 1970s. Since then, it has become clear that psychological stress affects immune function. In a landmark meta-analysis of 293 studies involving nearly 19,000 participants, Segerstrom and Miller (2004) demonstrated that chronic stress causes the most significant and lasting immunosuppressive effects. This is especially true for stress perceived as uncontrollable and involving interpersonal conflict. They found that such stress consistently decreases natural killer cell activity, reduces lymphocyte proliferation, and disrupts cytokine production. These mechanisms are directly linked to increased autoimmune vulnerability.

In her book The Balance Within (2001), immunologist and author Esther Sternberg examines how the same neural pathways that process emotional distress also control the immune system. She explains why ongoing relational stress can both trigger and maintain autoimmune disease. The young man's autoimmune conditions, which worsened due to years of paternal narcissistic abuse and then significantly improved after his father's death, follow this pattern.

ACEs Research: Childhood Adversity and Lifelong Physical Health

Vincent Felitti and colleagues (1998) conducted significant research on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Since then, these studies have been replicated many times. By examining over 17,000 adults, the research found a dose-response relationship between stressful childhood experiences and a wide range of adult health outcomes. These adverse childhood experiences included living with an emotionally abusive or mentally ill parent. The symptoms observed ranged from autoimmune diseases and chronic pain to functional disabilities. The mechanisms identified include epigenetic changes, HPA axis dysregulation, and chronic low-grade inflammation that can persist for decades. Donna Jackson Nakazawa's Childhood Disrupted (2015) explores this research and documents cases similar to those described here.

Narcissistic Abuse as Chronic Traumatic Stressor

The specific situation of a narcissistic or abusive parent needs careful attention. Gabor Maté, in When the Body Says No (2003), explains that constantly suppressing genuine emotional feelings can lead to autoimmune illnesses. Children of narcissistic or controlling parents often struggle to openly share their distress. He suggests that the child's immune system may start attacking the body in ways that reflect the psychological pattern of self-suppression. His clinical cases and the broader research on "emotionally invalidating environments" are relevant here.

THE BASICS

What Is Stress?

Take our Burnout Test

Find a therapist to overcome stress

The Speed of Recovery: A Clinical Note

What is especially notable in the two stories mentioned here is how quickly improvement can occur, sometimes within just weeks and other times spanning months. This finding aligns with Bruce McEwen's concept of allostatic load. He explains that when a persistent source of stress is permanently removed, the body not only stops deteriorating but can also actively recover. This challenges a pessimistic view of psychosomatic illness, which considers it fixed or progressively worsening. It highlights the importance of using therapeutic interventions that, if possible, improve the social and relational environment. If that is not feasible, the affected individual may benefit from relocating to a healthier environment. Alternatively, psychotherapy can help process adverse experiences differently. Complementary treatments, such as exercise, meditation, and supportive groups that foster confidence and assertiveness, will also be beneficial.

References

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Sternberg, E. M. (2001). The Balance Within: The Science Connecting Health and Emotions. W.H. Freeman.

Segerstrom, S. C., & Miller, G. E. (2004). Psychological stress and the human immune system: A meta-analytic study of 30 years of inquiry. Psychological Bulletin, 130(4), 601–630.

Nakazawa, D. J. (2015). Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal. Atria Books.

McEwen, B. S. (1998). Stress, adaptation, and disease: Allostasis and allostatic load. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 840(1), 33–44.

Maté, G. (2003). When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. Knopf Canada.

Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., & Marks, J. S. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258.

Ader, R., & Cohen, N. (1975). Behaviorally conditioned immunosuppression. Psychosomatic Medicine, 37(4), 333–340.

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About the Author

Radhule Weininger, M.D., Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice. She is the author of Heart Medicine: How to Stop Painful Patterns and Find Peace and Freedom—at Last.

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